Attack Of The Jonas Brothers!
by sa-na.fereva2013
Summary: Have you noticed have the Jonas Brothers are everywhere? Well, this is my version.


One day while sitting at home watching t.v......

"Breaking News Flash: Just seconds ago we received news of a full out invasion. The virus known as The JoBros, Jb for short, has reached America and is spreading quickly. You may be wondering what's happening out there so we'll give you a peek. Let' go to our field correspondent Mia Independence. Mia, what's going on out there?"

(screaming girls)

"Well as you can see Joe, the virus is spreading quickly, turning regular teenage girls into rabid zombies. Yes, in case your wondering not all girls have been infected yet. So to these girls I say stay away from your windows, lock your doors, and do not come outside or else you may be infected. You are our only hope." Mia and her camera men scream as they're being taken away by teenage girls to be sacrificed to the three Jonas Brothers the camera turns to white noise

"Well I think a moment of silence is in order for Mia and her camera men who died in the line of duty..." I turned off the tv.

I sighed. We knew this would happen eventually. You see my father, before he was mobbed to death by girls, was a scientist and he discovered something they called the JB strand. It was a strand of DNA in a girls body that when enacted would take them from future world leaders to screaming fan girls within 2.5 seconds. I had such hope for teenage girls like me, that one day one of us would become president of the United States, that dream got flushed along with my collage tuition. I stood, walked over to the window, and looked out. Oh no! there were hundreds, if not thousands of rabid Jonas Brothers fans coming my way. I closed the blind quickly. Time to get to the underground shelter. To access the shelter all I had to say was: "Holy Zombie Girls Batman!" I heard a robotic female voice say "Access granted" and the floor dropped out from under me and I was sliding down a slide. As soon as I hit the bottom I looked around, saw Pocket protectors, horn rimmed glasses, lab coats, and INHAILERS!!!!!! AHHHH!!! I screamed I was trapped with Nerds. Question was who was more dangerous: rabid, screaming, cannibalistic fan girls or hopeless, loveless, dorky nerds? If I'm not careful the world may never know.

Random thought: I wonder if they make T-shirts saying I survived the JoBros Fan Girls and Nerds at the same time?

I decided to get up and back away slowly "Spray her down she might be infected or one of them!" a nasily voice yelled. Next thing I know I'm being sprayed down with water. I fall back on my butt and when the water stopped I got up.

"What the hell did you think you were Doing?! I'm normal!! Do you idiots think I would've gotten down here if I wasn't?!" I glared at each of them but they weren't looking at my face, and that's when I realized I had put on a white T-shirt this morning. They had just sprayed me down with water. That means...! I looked down OMG! I thought the nerds were bad just a few seconds ago, but this, this is as bad as giving them a can of Monster and showing them Myspace! I shouted: "Holy Horny Nerds Batman!" and heard "Access granted. You may now run for your life!"

I ran back up the stairs and out the door. only to be stopped by the crazy, dangerous, canablastic, Jonas Brothers fan girls. They all stopped and for some reason turned around and started screaming. they all screamed. "OMG It's The JONAS BROTHERS!!!!; I LOVE YOU JOE!;MARRY ME?!; OMFG YOU GUYS ROCK!!!" I took this opportunity to run, but ran into one of the JoBro body guards

"Stop" he said "You must worship the almighty Jonas Brothers!" I looked at him like he was crazy (he was but don't tell him that) and said "Hell to the no."

He snapped his fingers and I was picked up by two other body guards and they took my to the front of the mob of screaming and fainting girls. And thats when I saw them, they haunted my worst nightmares. The Jonas Brothers..

Answer to Random thought: there are no I survived JoBros fan girls and nerds at the same time t-shirts.

Note to self:Make I survived JoBros fan girls and nerds at the same time T-shirt.

Wait...where was I?... Oh yeah...And thats when I saw them, they haunted my worst nightmares. The Jonas Brothers...And Tom Cruise. Wait Tom Cruise? WTF?! The body guards set me on my feet in front of the Jonas Brothers and Tom Cruise. (again wtf?) "Bow to-" I waved my hand in the air and the body guard went silent "Let's hold up a bit on the sacrificing thing. What I want to know is Tom Cruise, why the hell are you in my story?"

He blinked and looked around "Right what am I...Oh! Now I remember! I'm here to save you from being sacrificed, but only if you or someone you know can save my acting career."

"Well I don't think anyone will be able to save your career, but I'll try let me talk to my friend." I got out my phone and dialed Tyziie's number

Ty: Hello?

Me: Ty?

Ty: Yeah Nami, whaddya need?

Me: Well I'm kinda about to be sacrificed to the Jonas Brothers, but for some unknown reason Tom Cruise is here and he says he'll save me if I or someone I know can saving his acting career. Think you can help?

Ty: Sorry but I don't think anyone can save his acting career, not even me!

Me: Oh damn! Well thanks anyway, and if I ever become a fan girl do me a favor and slap me.

Ty: Ok I will, good luck you'll need it.

Me:Ok, thanks bye.

Ty: Chou.

I turned back to Tom cruise "Sorry but my friend and I agree there's no saving your career."

He frowned "Well then your on your own. Tom Cruise away!" he shouted and was abducted into a space ship.

"Wow." Joe Jonas said "Now where were we? oh yeah You must bow to us or be given to the fan girls. mu hahaha."

I stared him down "Man, I don't know what you're smoking, but it must be pretty strong cause you guys aren't gods."

It went dead silent "What?" a fan-zombie asked "You guys aren't gods? that's not what you told us!"

Nick spoke up "We are totally gods! Don't listen to her! She's a non-believer!!"

I looked at the girls and shook my head "You girls are almost as bad as Tom Cruise. Look at yourselves." I said. Your worshiping a bad boy band. I swear it's the Backstreet Boys all over again." I said shaking my head

"The Backstreet Boys? OMG I LOVE THEM!!!!!!" one girl shouted then they all started screaming.

Joe, Nick, and Kevin Jonas all looked at me and shouted "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

"Fine, fine. I'll fix it. God, I hope Tyziie slaps me for what I'm going to do." I took a deep breath "OMG IT'S LIKE TOTALLY THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!" and then I was in the same position I was in before being sacrificed by fan girls to the Jonas brothers who are under the delusion that they're gods..that's just great I really need to learn to keep my big mouth shut.. "Now I'm going to bite you and turn you into a fan girl." Joe said.

"Oh no! you can't bite me cuz I don't want to be a Jonas fan girl. I want to actually do something with my life. Not scream over a terribly annoying boy band!" Joe approached me and I backed away till I got to the edge of the mob. Oh No! I'm trapped...He got closer to me preparing to bite me when everything went slow-mo. He leaned in and I heard someone scream "Nooooooo!!" I slowly turned my head to see Ty jump inbetween me and Joe and took the bite! Oh no! Everything went back to normal speed. Tay fell to the ground, and I knelt beside her "Ty, OMG! you just saved my life! Thanks. I won't forget this even if you turn into a fan-zombie!" Then she sits up and slaps me. "WTF WAS THAT FOR?!" I asked her

"Well you almost became a fan-zombie."

"KEY WORD ALMOST! Anyway how are you not a fan girl right now?" I ask standing up and helping her to her feet

"Well SOMEONE," she said glaring over at Joe "Bites me every night anyway, so I'm immune."

I start laughing "Oh every night huh?" I say lifting my eyebrows suggestively "I hope he's not to rough with you." I say laughing even more.

She just ignored my comment "Uh, helllooo, I just saved your un-zombified butt from fan girlism and I think i should get a thank you."

"Oh thank you! You hero you! Is that better?" We both laughed

"Yes" she replied The Jonas Brothers cleared their throats. Joe made a point to try not to look at Ty, but it didn't work, he still did.

"muhahaha oh where was I? oh yeah ....Okay...Now we will have to give you to our fans because you weren't turned into fan girls.

I turned to Ty. "We may have to use our butt kicking skills to get outta this Ty."

"I agree let's do it."

"Okay" Fan girl zombies surrounded us so I did the only thing I could do to make sure me and Tay lived "OMG IS THAT JOE JONAS?!" They all looked away from us and we ran back to my house. But wait! The Nerds were standing there and they were still...uh...'happy' "Ty OMG what are we going to do?"

"I have no idea."

"Well we can't just stand here."

"I know!"

"That doesn't help!"

I thought a moment and...Aha! "Wait Ty I remember that my dad had put a car in the underground cave under my house!"

"How do we get to it?"

"We have to survive the nerds." We looked at each other, and then at the nerds. They charged and we tripped, gave wedgies, and knocked off their glasses barely making it out of ther without a date proposal. We got into the house, went down into the bat cave, and got into the car.

Note to self:If attacked by a Jonas trying to convert me to fan girl let him bite Ty seeing as she's 'immune'.

I went and got into the driver's seat and Ty got into the passenger side. We made it out of the bat cave, but at the entrance the fan girl mob and Jonas Brothers were waiting. Oh no! I hit the brakes "Nami, how are we going to get out of this?" Ty asked me

"Idk, but I guess I should mention that we're probably going to die or be made Jobro slaves."

"Wow thanx for the optimism."

"Sure any time. Okay I could try running them over. think that would work?" Ty nodded "It's worth a try cuz I don't want to die or be a JoBros slave." So I took my foot off the brakes and slammed it down on to the gas. BUMP!!! BUMP!!!! BUMP!!! BUMP!!!! I ran over multiple fan girls, but they just got up and dusted off. STUPID ZOMBIES!!!

"THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!!! AFTER THEM!!" Nick shouted I hit the gas completely and sped away. Ty turned on the radio and started jammin to Love drunk by Boys like Girls

" I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover, I love you forever, forever is over, We used to kiss all night, but now it's just a bar fight, So don't call me crying,Say hello to goodbye,Cause Just one thing would make me say,I used to be love drunk, But now I'm hungover,I'll love you forever, But now it's over."

I looked at Ty. "Ty!" She didn't hear me. "TY!!"

She turned down the radio. "What?"

"One: Now is not the time for jammin' out. Two: Where are we going to go?"

She turned to say something when we heard police sirens. "Pull over to the side of the road!" I pulled over and Ty freaked out "Don't pull over just keep going he could be one of them!"

"Tay I promise if he is I will speed off and we'll go to where you say to go." There was a tap on the window so I rolled it down and said "Is there a problem officer?" he took off his bike helmet and it was..."Tom Cruise?! WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE IN MY STORY AGAIN?" he laughed "I'm auditioning for the part of an officer in your story. So...did I get the part?" I turned to Ty and mouthed 'He's crazy' she nodded and mimed me driving.

I nodded back to her and turned to Tom Cruise (again WTF?! He's crazy) "Well Tom you got the part. Congratulations."

{Sidenote:Could someone please take him back to the mental hospital? I can't have him randomly popping up in my story like this.}

With that I put my foot on the gas again and sped off. "As you were saying Ty before Tom Cruise randomly popped up."

"Oh yeah. We can go to my sista's house. Sammy lives like a mile away from here."

"Ty! You're a genius let's go!" A half hour full of rabid fan girls popping up and chasing us later, we arrived at Sammy's house. Ty and I walked through the door and saw Sammy wildly kissin her boy friend.

"Get a room you two." Ty said sammy glared at her. "We WERE alone till SOME PEOPLE walked through my front door without knocking."

I smiled at her "Aww sis don't be mad. We just came too see if you wanted to go on an adventure with us. An adventure where tom Cruise randomly pops up, we could be killed and/or turned into fan girl slaves."

"Yea I'll come it sounds like tons of fun! Let me grab my purse and we can go!"

15 mins later we were still waiting for Sammy, standing there staring at Sammy's boy friend while he shifted around uncomfortably. "SAMMY HURRY UP!!! THE FAN GIRLS MIGHT CATCH UP TO US WHILE WE GET GRAY HAIR WAITING FOR YOU!!!" I yelled up the steps.

"SAMMY! C'MON!" Ty yelled.

"Okay okay!" Sammy said coming down her steps with nothing but a small bag. "It took you that long to get that?!" I exclaimed

"No, not the purse! It's what's inside that took so long. As we all know I am a genius, so I made these," she pulled out three squirt guns. " They are anti-JoBros guns and will turn any fan girl back to normal because they have the antidote in them."

"Antidote? I didn't know there was one." I said

"Well there wasn't. Not until I found out Tay was immune to the bite. So I took a sample of her blood and boom there's the antidote."

Ty and I looked at each other "Ew" we said in unison and laughed. Someone cleared their throat and we looked over to Sammy's boyfriend. "Yeah what you want?" Ty asked

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I believe there are a mob of run-over angry fan-girls outside to see you." he said pointing out the window I looked out the window

"Oh she-ite That's not good they've surrounded the car. And who's that out there?" Sammy and Ty came and stood next to me. There was a crazy person in the middle of the mob trying to arrest fan girls, that could only mean one thing...."Tom Cruise" Ty and I said at the same time

"What's he doing in your story Nami?" Sammy asked me.

"He believes he has won the part of an officer in her story. What can I say. He's crazy." Ty replied for me "Oh, okay then. Here's your guns with the antidote. We're going to have to use them to get to the Bat Mobile." I went to the door and got ready to open it, but stopped and turned to Ty and Sammy "You know what I realized? We are soooo like Charlie's Angels." Smiling, I opened the door and we all ran out. Sammy ran back in to kiss her boy friend one more time and say goodbye. We ran into the crowd and zombie girls tried to grab us, but we squirted their butts into next Tuesday with the antidote.

A few of them shook their heads "Where am I?" One of them asked "What is Tom Cruise doing here?" Another asked "Why is Tom Cruise arresting me?" someone else shouted.

"Sorry about that. He's crazy. If you could put him in the mental hospital that would be great!" I shouted back and continued clearing the way to the Car with Tay and Sammy. By the time we got to the car the mob had turned into normal people again. I heaved a sigh of relief "Thank god. Tom Cruise left." Sammy hopped in the back, Tay got in the passenger side, and I got into the driver's side and we got outa there. "Why don't we listen to the radio?" Sammy suggested and I turned it on. It started playing a Jonas Brothers Song. AHHHH!!!!! "TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!!!" I screamed and swerved all over the road. Tay reached for the dial and turned it to a nice hip-hop/rap station. Sammy sighed in relief "That was a close one." Ty said.

"That was Right Round by Flo Rida and now we have a special announcement. This radio station has been bought by the Jonas Brothers. They wish to say a few words. 'Nami, Tyziie, and any of their traveling companions: We want you to come to the television studio where we film Jonas, because we want you on the show. If you don't come we will hunt you down and make you our slaves.' That was the Jonas Brothers ladies and gentlemen. We will now be playing their songs 24/7 so please, enjoy..."

I turned off the radio and we sat in shocked silence. Sammy was the first to say something"O-M-G! Can you believe it. THE Jonas Brothers want you two to meet them!! I CANNOT believe it. You are so lucky! I mean really..." me and Ty both reached back and squirted her the face with our guns at the same time she shook her head "What happened?" she asked.

"Oh nothing much we just found out you're vulnerable to the JB virus." I replied sarcastically

"Oh my god, that's not good."

"No Sammy, ya think?"

"Ok children enough! We need to figure out what we're going to do." Ty said, stopping whatever Sammy was going to say "Ty's right, Nami, what are we going to do?" Sammy asked me "Well the way I look at it we have to options: 1. Don't go and be hunted down and be made into slaves 2. go to them and fight or whatever. Which should we pick? Door number one or two?"

"Well Bob, I pick door number 2." Sammy said. I turned to Ty "Is that your finale answer?" She thought about it for a second and replied "Yes, Bob, It is."

"Congratulations! You've picked door number 2! We will now go and fight crazy JoBros fan girls and the Jonas brothers."

"Okay girlies, now we put on our awesome sunglasses and go kick some Jonas Brother butt." Ty told us So in slow motion we all put on our amazing butt kicking glasses and I punched the gas.

* * *

After about an hour of awesome sunglasses, fast driving, and inspirational music later....."Is this the right place, Nami?" Ty asked me

"No this is Taco Bell. Let's get some taco's cuz this might be our last meal together. I want tacos and not just any tacos, dancing tacos!"

"Totally!" Tay and Sammy exclaimed at the same time We got some tacos and chimichangas, because that word is fun to say, and were off again.

Finally, we arrived at the Jonas studio and pulled into the parking lot. I turned off the car and faced Ty and Sammy. "Guys, I just want you to know that if we don't get out of this alive, well, you two are the best friend a girl could ever have. No matter what happens in there I wanted you to know that. I just wish Derek was with us."

"Aww, Nami, your the best friend too." Ty said "Hey, don't worry about it. We'll make it out of there. As for Derek...well, I don't know where your stupid boy toy is." Sammy said That's when Ty's phone rang. "Hello?" "Ty? TY! Help me I'm at the Jonas studio and they're holding me captive. I'm being surrounded by fat fan girls. Please help me! Where are you?"

"Derek, calm down, boy. Me, Sammy, and Cat are outside of the studio right now we're coming to get you now. See you in a bit." Ty closed her phone. "Well what are we waiting for? let's go kick some azz!" I shouted and we all jumped out of Bat Mobile.

We ran inside Jonas Studios and saw the most shocking thing. Derek was being held by fan-girls and the JoBros were standing there smirking. "We have your boy friend and/or your brother, now what will you do?" I smiled right back as sweetly as I could "This!" I shouted and Ty, Sammy, and I squirted the Jonas Brothers with the JB anti-dote.

"AHHHHHH! We're melting! WE'RE FRICKIN MELTING!!!" They shouted As we watched they're faces melted off and they looked exactly like......TOM FRICKIN CRUISE!!! Our mouths fell open "What the hell?" Ty asked. Just then The real Tom Cruise walked into the room. "I see you have found out that the Jonas Brothers are actually my talentless clones from the planet Talentless. It is an alien planet that I founded when my career started going down the toilet. Since my secret has now been found out we will leave this planet for home. I shall also free these girls of their JB virus." he snapped his fingers and they were all gone, Tom Cruise and his clones that is. The formerly Fam-girls started shaking their heads. "What's going on here?" one asked me I smiled and put my hand on her sholuder "Everything is finally right in the world, why don't you go home?" I replied ChaCha laughed and ran over to us. "Thanks, chickas you saved my life." Then Derek, Sammy, and Ty turned on me and attack.

That's when I woke up screaming. Dad and mom burst into the room. "Is everything alright pumpkin?" Dad asked me

"Yeah I'm sorry I woke you both up I just had a really, really bad dream."

"Alright honey" mom said walking out of my room "Are you sure you're alright?" dad asked me with a quizzcal look in his eyes

"Yeah," I replied smiling "Dad?"

"Yeah sweety?"

"Quit working on the JB strand, it will kill you."

Dad got a serious look on his face thinking over something. He noded, "Alright, I will." and walked out of the room

* * *

Ha ha! Tom cruise! This is my first EVER fan fiction so please...tell me what you think...should i write more and capture my novelest dream, or should i flush this dream down the drain...well, R&R Please and Thank yous! :P


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